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Minds.

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August 2019

rejuvenation
growth
new chapter in a good way
release ur burden
no more stuck
blooming
releasing old burdens that hold u back
expansion
change
abundance
patience with urself
healing

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Wrong timing?

Help i've been thinking too much. gila mau meledak kepala gue rasanya yang gue rasain? bingung, sedih, takut, merasa bersalah, happy idk man, ruwet banget isi kepala otak gue. What i did last night was wrong but i dont feel that guilty instead, i've been thinking about you. and you said, you've been thinking about me all day. i dont know what am I feeling, but it feels good. cuma gue tau itu salah. terus lo ngomong "if they're the right one, we won't be in this position." bener dan salah. mungkin memang ada kemungkinan besar they're not the one for us but salah nya mungkin kita juga salah mengartikan ini semua. Mungkin kita cuma dua insan yang sedang sama sama butuh itu. We both know we attracted to each other, sama sama penasaran satu sama lain tapi gue tau kita ga bisa lebih dari itu. Dan mungkin kita sama sama gak bisa melepaskan pasangan kita. I wont leave my bf just because of you. Kalo gue ...

Sekedar

Hello Sekedar ingin menulis bagaimana keadaan hidup gue 6 bulan belakangan ini. So.. I'm happy yet sad. Pandji makes me happy. But also he makes me sad. I hurt him a lot. But Im trying my best to change, to hold back my temper, my ego. I love him, I dont want lose him but I also want to leave him. Yang terpenting, lebih banyak happy-nya dibanding sad-nya kok. Beside that HIDUP KU GABUT BGTTTTT Sampe bingung mau nonton apa karena udah bosen nonton doang. Kangen kerja :( I have no income huhu Mau buka olshop preloved masih bingung sampe sekarang. Pengen beraktifitas lagi supaya gue ga bergantung lagi sama Pandji Also, it scares me tontonan yang gue tonton bisa mempengaruhi pikiran gue Gatau karena yang gue tonton apa emang gue lagi stress, i tried to cut myself and i felt.. happy ????? relax?????? idk otak gue error brok. sekian bye

that shit change

Mungkin kalo 2 tahun lalu atau tahun lalu gue masih kepikiran atau membayangkan & mengharapkan bisa nikah dan bisa tiap hari sama Pandji untuk jangka waktu yang lama. Masih ngarepin kalo gue bangun tidur terus disamping gue ada dia, masih bayangin kalo gue tinggal sama dia Tapi tahun ini berubah sih. It just hits my reality. That we cannot be together for a long time. It won't happen. My vision with him, my hopes with him, it won't happen ☺️ At some point I stopped hoping. Udah gak kebayang lagi gue tinggal sama dia, gue hidup lama sama dia. Cuz thanks to him yang selalu ingetin gue for so many times kita gak bisa bersama apalagi nikah. Ada gunanya juga ternyata dia ngomong itu berkali2, gue kira gue bakal batu Dan tetep mengharapkan dia. Pasti lo nanya, ya terus lo udah tau lo ga bakal jangka panjang sama dia untuk ke arah nikah, why are you still here? The only answer I have right now is I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be alone. I'm afraid my life will change and ...

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