is this a blessing or a cursing?

it's been a long time i felt this way

and

i just dont know how to respond this

it's been a long time, well since 3years ago, i like someone and got flustered in my stomach. my heart beating fast when i open my instagram.

to be honest i don't like this kind of myself. it just feels like "this is not me..."

but you know this is what i'm thinking right now

"whatever happens, happens."

sometimes it's not good to think too much. Sometimes you just need to let it flow

but you know, i know what is the ending of this story

again and again

he will left

and maybe for this time, i should really really tell myself "don't expect too much"

because you will be the one who got hurt, not him.

it's always me.

BUT

am i fall in love? or i just want to be loved?

well... idk