Today I feel sucks

i really

hate
tired
disappointed

with

my life
myself

anything surrounds me.

One day I can be very positive, try to have a positive mind

but on another day

I can be very negative, it's like every feels that I pretended not to feel, it just hit me on that day like that.

Like feels so tired, hate, disappointed

I really want to go back to my old life

I hate myself right now, I hate my life right now

I want to go back when I was junior high school or at least high school grade 2.

I don't want to grow up.

I hate all of this that what happens to me and my life.

You know the feels like you want to die, shut off your life for a sake, but you afraid of death and still wants to live.

I know, myself is not perfect, I know I became farther to God

Myself and my parents are not used to be like in the past.

We rarely go to church. It's like because I never or rarely go to church anymore, and my parents too, it's like a punishment.

maybe it is.

idk I dont need something material or expensive like a car, new iPhone, air conditioner, makeup, clothes or vacation

I only need my peaceful life (without feeling threatened by that guys anymore) with wifi and my laptop&iphone5. That's it