F yea 3am

hmm

I keep telling myself that I don't f care anymore, but I still do.
I keep telling myself that I've moved on, but I haven't.

it's 3am. I dont know why im crying. I just.. flashback. and I realized
i miss him. myself miss him. but still i dont want to meet him
but i miss the day we used to be

i miss those days
i miss myself getting excited because want to meet you
i miss his laugh
i miss he drove beside me and looking at me sweetly but I pretended to realized
i miss his hand accidentaly touch my hand when we go out
i miss his smell
even i miss his cigarette smell

i miss our conversation
i just..
miss him.

i know for sure, he didnt even thinking about me anymore
i know about that, and maybe i should felt shame
but i dont know, myself, tonight, just miss him.

f yea