HUHU :(

Love is the most natural feeling a human being can have. But why it hurt me so much?

actually what I feel it's not painful but it makes my heart flustered until my stomach and my head is hurt :(

Like there's a stone in my heart that make my heart is so feel burdened.

I want to loving him freely, without any burden, without any fear..

I'm scared that my expectations go up

Masa cuma karena kesedihan gue dimasa dulu, gue harus nyerah lagi karena takut. Coward

it's like once you've been hurt, you're so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart.

I'm trying really hard not to get hurt again...

Dan apa yang kata Aisha (temen gue) nasehatin ke gue itu bener banget

intinya dia bilang ini
"Lo harus netralin perasaan lo tes, ini bukan masalah lo di php in atau bukan, lo yang harus ngontrol perasaan lo sendiri, bukan salah cowonya tapi lo yang harus kontrol diri lo sendiri bukan nyikapin sikap dia ke lo."

ITS SO FUCKING DAMN TRUE. BUT ITS TOO HARD. how can you not having a feeling but you really like him so much and he's giving you a signal... like there's something special between us. HOW CAN I BEING NEUTRAL AND DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT.

Jatuh cinta itu gak semanis orang bilang, buat gue lebih banyak memberikan beban dan kesesakan di hati daripada kebahagiaan. Hah. Fuck off

Dan kenapa juga perasaan gue bener-bener gaenak dari kemarin :( kayak ada yang ngeganjel dan pengen gue keluarin tapi gatau harus gimana.

huhu I don't really want feel like this......................